Vexen Crabtree 2015

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Vexen Crabtree's Live Journal

Sociology, Theology, Anti-Religion and Exploration: Forcing Humanity Forwards


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Vexen Crabtree 2015
vexen

2002 Dec 31 Slimelight

Should I do the Slimelight write up first, or the personal journalling about last year? Slimelight...

What a fucking excellent night :-) I went to Slimes two weeks ago, and I got bored at left and 3, well... actually I was looking after P who was upset and emotional, she got messed around by someone close. She's bounced back as always :-)

OK, got there, it's a Tuesday New Year's special with three floors open. But not the normal Ground, First and Second floors, this time round it's the First, Second and Third (yep, third) floors that were open. First floor played Industrial and 80s as normal. Second floor played hardcore techno, dark techno, harsh industrial as normal, the the third floor (a very nice floor) was a trad goth/80s floor.

I've been lost recently, and lost all my dreams and have been on automatic. So I was feeling melancholic and danced on the trad goth floor. I done the whirly-twirly shape-throwing intense-emotional anguished goth dance for two hours or so. I done it all except I didn't cry whilst dancing (oh how goth), nor did I literally become overcome with the pure gothness of it that I fell to the floor beating both fists on the floor in time to the music. Believe me, I've seen this done. I thought it was cool, very powerful, but not one for me to do.

Penny was having an excellent night and... this cheered me up. Actually, it made me really quite bouncy! I'd been very energetic all day, very excited about going to Slimes and am of course, always my normal happy self even when I do have vague sounding problems such as "losing my dreams". So I then migrated to the hardcore techno/industrial floor, which is my normal place of choice in Slimelight.

And there I danced to the best and most powerful and inspiring sets for five hours. I became euphoric, all my muscles ached, I fed myself chocolate and drank lots of water. I danced, smiled widely, bounced, perked, excersiced... I dance very energetically on this floor, I'm the most energetic person there, nearly always.

It was nice to dance next to a pretty (but not my style) woman who was also energetic. Her and I synchronized excellently, we were both on the raised platform. We tended to raise our arms in the same way at the same time, and we even (this is rarer) danced on crouched knees during the same parts of tracks, it felt good. I kind of felt understood, in a completely abstract nonverbal way.

I talked to some people and was helpful to many people who were lost.

Oh, at one point, an American woman (attractive, had an accent that was West coast, but seemed "impure" or perhaps was just from part of the West Coast that I haven't known anyone from), approached me in a friendly manner (with eye contact) and touched my pentacle. I expected the question "What does this mean?", or perhaps "Are you Satanic?". I knew she wasn't about to be horrible, she was friendly and humbled herself with her eye contact and body language. She asked me if there was a Satanic Temple, because she had heard that there was one. I assumed she meant in London and told her there wasn't. I explained that Satanists very rarely consolidate or centralize to the extent that any permanent building is selected, and told her this was a result of most of Satanic "community" being completely individualistic. She was friendly, and seemed intelligent, she thanked me and we went on our ways.

Of everyone in Slimelight who has approached me in this manner, they have all been nice, and have either acknowledged themselves as a Satanist, or been honestly interested. On the street, most people who stop me are a nasty type of Christian who just shout "Jesus is Lord" or attempt to tell me that Satan is only tricking me. I normally don't engage this people and just say "Have a nice day" or something. Sometimes I bring up the problem of evil and mention Earthquakes and the suffering of innocents and unborn babies... and say that their God isn't actually a nice fellow either.

Anyway. I lost track of time, and all of a sudden the night was over. But whilst dancing, I was put in a completely different mindset (as I aim to do). My new years resolution was going to be "Make new dreams", however, this is not to be. Because I have dreams, they're just not capable of being sought at the moment. So, my new years resolution for the next year is: Be more of an activist. I am going to make myself in new areas. The 90s (you probably wont believe this, as it went unnoticed) was the Church of England's "decade of evangelism" (yeah, it was news to me too, it was more like "decade of silence"), well this next year is Vexen's year of activism.

Oh, Slimelight was packed. It was really full. Initially, I couldn't find space on any dance floor. Except, the trad goth floor was (every now and then) mostly empty. So with a huge space all to myself I whirled and twirled and loved it thoroughly. I'm a man of many dances. Later on, the fast floor became more empty, so I danced there. Sometimes I'd have the entire raised platform to myself, and I do power-bouncy-dancing with extra twirls and dramatic poses at the relevent moments.

Afterwards I had been invited to a few parties (there are always post Slimelight parties), however I declined one because it smelt like there were too many drugs there, and declined another because Penny and a close friend were going, and I wished to let them have time alone without me tagging along... you know, a third person is a bit of a drag to two closer friends... well not all the time, but this was one of those times. I checked with Penny and made sure she was going to be OK. She's entirely capable of looking after herself, I know. I then chose to come home, write this write up and create more music.

My Slimelight page.

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On the street, most people who stop me are a nasty type of Christian who just shout "Jesus is Lord"

--::shakes head::

That's pathetic.

I think I mentioned before but I had a romantic interest who was like this, and I couldn't stand him mentioning Jesus all the time, it just drove me crazy.

Ouch! Just for the record... in real life, I go for weeks without mentioning Satan... it's only when I type, write or we hold our meetings that the S word comes out!

What I am just about to say may be a terrible stereotype, but as it is also an actual series of events based around a real person, it's not a case of me stereotyping... there was an Irish guy at University. He had a beard and was a bit short. He had an Irish accent. As he walked past me, several times, he would say "Jesus is Lord". I always wore my pentacle. At first, he only mumbled it. But as time went on and he done it a few times he got more confident and louder. If I spoke to him or turned to face him... this was so funny and entertaining, then he would run away. Actually run. Just the meekest little "Hi" from Vexen, and his little legs carried him around the nearest corner quicker than I could say "I've noticed you around...".

You're makin' me wanna DANCE!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like you had an awesome night! Glad you wrote it up here. =)

And there I danced to the best and most powerful and inspiring sets for five hours. I became euphoric, all my muscles ached, I fed myself chocolate and drank lots of water. I danced, smiled widely, bounced, perked, excersiced... I dance very energetically on this floor, I'm the most energetic person there, nearly always.

Heh heh heh... I'd love to see that. :^)

How's the music writing going?

Re: You're makin' me wanna DANCE!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing is great :-)

Music writing... I tried more vocals, I don't know if I am capable of making normal sung vocals sound good, but I'm not giving up yet. I have found that good tracks are based around simple little tunes and series of notes. Occasionally, good tracks just 'happen', because their basis is in a good tune. Otherwise, tracks can be worked on for a while without anything 'happening'. I have downloaded a Vocoder and an electronic voice synthesizer, which is a combination of software that is used to produce high quality sounding electronic voices that can be made to sound almost as if they're singing in pitch with the music. But it's fiddly to work with, and time consuming to produce noise tracks to modulate the voices. Oopsie, sorry for being too technical!

V is off to bed... good night... I recorded some of your lyrics by the way! I didn't get much done, and now my housemates are all back from their Xmas excursions I'll have fewer chances to 'sing'... but one day!

:-)

Re: You're makin' me wanna DANCE!!!!!!!!!!

"Music writing... la dee dah... blah blah blah... vocals... doodeedoodeedoo... synthesizer.... yadda yadda... electronics...Oopsie, sorry for being too technical!"
Don't worry, I understood most of it. :)

V is off to bed... good night... I recorded some of your lyrics by the way! I didn't get much done, and now my housemates are all back from their Xmas excursions I'll have fewer chances to 'sing'... but one day!
Ah well, whenever. :) Don't wanna torture your roommates too much, right? :Þ (kidding!)
Sleep well!

Further comments and additional notes about the tiny little scuffle I was in:

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=vexen&itemid=124906

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