Vexen Crabtree 2015


Vexen Crabtree's Live Journal

Sociology, Theology, Anti-Religion and Exploration: Forcing Humanity Forwards

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Hello Black Angel,
I like you am familiar with death. My father died of cancer when I was 12. Actually, the last thing I said to him was "God Bless You," thinking of course that that might help somehow. Even now I hate the phrase. Shortly after he died however I had a "dream" where I woke up and saw some light coming from down the hall. It got brighter as I moved down the living room. As I looked on the couch where my father used to sit I saw an image of him. He was the source of all the light, and he seemed to be happy. When I woke up I actually woke up sitting upright in my bed and tears were flowing down my face, and I was crying when I woke up. I saw that my door was open (which is odd because I never open it). I ran down the hallway to see if my Dad was there in the living room, but he was gone. Because of this experience, I do believe there is some sort of God and afterlife. When I was young I was an Episcopalian, but as a teen I was a Pentacostal or Charismatic. Luckily, I realized that the most fundamentalist right wing Christians are not about Goodness or love. They are all about judgmentalism . They are nit pickers that worry about meaningless doctrinal issues such as speaking in tongues, what a person wears, and what kind of baptismal formula to follow rather than treating other people with kindness and respect. They can't tolerate even questioning their stupid narrow-minded views. I still believe there is some sort of God (perhaps even a matrix/computer kind of God as you and I have suggested), but I do not believe that one has to believe in Christ or even God to go to "heaven". Furthermore, I think the Bible was written by men, not some divine hand, so I feel that some scriptures are worthless bullshit and some are valuable. And anyone who claims the scriptures have no contradictions is full of shit and hasn't read them objectively. Furthermore, I actually admire this website because I'm down with the idea of people believing or not believing in whatever the Hell they want to. Also, logically, a huge part of me wants to believe there is no God. But because of the experience I had when I was younger (and because my Grandmother had some freaky ass psychic powers), I just can't let go of the idea that there is at least some sort of God and that although this life often sucks, some things in life are good and the afterlife is probably very good - even for nonchristians and even Atheists. Thus, I try to defend the idea of God and the afterlife and I think Christ was good (although "christians" often aren't), but really I've gone from being a conservative Republican to a liberal ass libretarian damn near anarchist over the years. To be honest, I'd take a kind atheist over an intolerant, self righteous, judgemental Christian anyday. It takes strength to abandon what your indoctrinated to believe - the strength to be objective, to be logical, and to be open to all sorts of arguments. I commend you for leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses just as I commend myself for leaving the Pentacostals. The freedom to think and evaluate things however the Hell you want to should never be shackled - that's why I love this website - even though I don't always agree with the views on it.

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