Vexen Crabtree 2015


Vexen Crabtree's Live Journal

Sociology, Theology, Anti-Religion and Exploration: Forcing Humanity Forwards

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Vexen Crabtree 2015


Vexen Crabtree on masturbation in relationship, methods of masturbation and things to avoid, honesty and stuff


I thank you for writing the essay on masturbation. It was an education for me. I come from a back ground where sex is a big taboo and most especially masturbation. Your essay gave me the inspiration to open up to my husband about my wants and needs. Hopefully this will help our troubled and rocky marriage.
yum yum


Great essay! Very informative and accurate. Masturbation has been a big part of my life since childhood. At 51 and happily married I still masturbate a lot. I love to have sex with my wife also and we are comfortable enough to have been able to incorporate masturbation into our relationship, and enjoy it for what it is both together and alone in all its forms. Thanks.

is there anything wrong with NOT masturbating? Does this mean that I am not sexual, abnormal, for not having the desire to "take matters in my own hands?"

No, that's fine, not everyone does.

One thing - you didn't explore the possibility or anal penetration among men. The prostate gland significantly swells in the moments before ejaculation, for the reasons you stated, and the gland itself is sensitive to pressure. This makes anal sex enjoyable for both halves between men, and a majority of heterosexual men enjoy even light sensations against the opening, if not full penetration to the prostate.

I am married but enjoy regular masturbation sessions with a few friends, Occasionally will will just partially penetrate each others anus with the tips of our penis when one of us is about to cum. We have not done full penetration, but may well give it a try one day.

double standard?

i masterbate but when my husband does i get angry.he does it to porn on the computer,and i am very jealous.i just wish he would let me in on the fun!

Re: double standard?

I am married, chidren. We both masturbate a lot. I have been shaking my bush since my early teens and will nor miss the pleasure. My darling is jerking his boner surfing the net in the evenings quite often. But finally he spurts his semen over my body when we are in the bedroom. As I am not on the pill masturbation sex is our usual joy. He gives me his loads while I am frigging. I think, masturbation can harmonize a marital lovemaking in this way or a similar manner. No one can give better the appropriate arousal and the most satisfying orgasm than oneself.

Re: double standard? (Anonymous) Expand
Re: double standard? (Anonymous) Expand
Re: double standard? (Anonymous) Expand


I love to Masturbate. I am in my mid 40's and have never had sex with anyone. If all a person wants is sexual satisfaction then Masturbation is the best. Masturbation is Fantastic As There are No STD's'No Aids, No unwanted Baby's and No abortions so in Fact Masturbating is perfect and can be done when needed and wanted. Keep On Masturbating and the World will be a better place.

Re: Masturbation

I very much enjoy masturbation to. I masturbate at least once a day and it can be just as exciting as having sex with my wife. Occasionally when my wife is out i invite a few mates round and we have a wanking competition to see who can ejeculate the most.

Re: Masturbation (Anonymous) Expand

hubbys masterbation

my problem is even though i know its normal why do i get so mad at him for doing it maybe its becouse hed rather do that than have sex with me weve been merried for two years and have three children two boys and my girl form befor our youngset is three weeks and i have the ok to have sex but do you think my hubby wants me no just last night while laying in bed naked wateing on him to come to bed i got up and came in here to the kitchen and low and behold there he was jacking of to porn i got so mad it was all i could do not to hit him with something why dose it hurt so much help iam going out of my mind with thoughts that iam ugly and fat witch i know iam not,HELP HELP i dont want to lose my hubby AS

Re: hubbys masterbation

1) That he masturbates is normal. No matter how much pressure is put on him about it, he will very likely still do it.

2) But the secrecy and especially the secrecy (and guilt - that he definately feels) about his actions are a problem. They're quite a normal one, and your anger is a normal reaction too.

3) The particular scene you described is horrible, and shows that something needs talking about.

But beyond those points, I'm not entirely qualified to offer serious advise on what to do.

Ask him, if he continues, if it's ok for you to see another person for a while. Such a thing can refresh the relationship wonderfully (unless it's covert, in which case it will seriously damage the existing relationship!). Such a change will also inspire you to change yourself, and find a new self-image, and such a change may be good for your husband too. But... such things need _serious_ discussion. Emotions aren't to be taken lightly or played with!

OK... final words, masturbation=fine, but, his actions and secrecy is not ok.

Answer = talk about it calmly, with a view to figuring out why he's like that, rather than a discussion based around getting him to change through coercion. Once the situation is understood better (he himself will not know his own motives - guys never do!), he himself may automatically realize how to change (guys normally don't know how to change...).

Re: hubbys masterbation (Anonymous) Expand
Re: hubbys masterbation (Anonymous) Expand

Sex toys?

Nice website, very interesting, I'd just like to say well done and that I used to use coathangers to masturbate but I didn't use the same one again twice, you can work out how I used it, heh.

hey what are some tips for women to masturbate ?

hey, my boyfriend just recently got me this book called the BIG_BOOK_OF_SEX, which has lots of information on sex (both oral and intercourse) and masturbation... it's out of a sex shop chain in berkely, california ( If you can find it, check it out, it might help... ^_^



I use a the cut off handle to a plastic baseball bat--it is tapered just right-easy to keep clean--a perfect fit with olive oil. I put my whatchamallit in one end and a vibrator in the other end and imagine she`s sitting on it as one girl would not do because it `made feel too much like an animal``

Masturbation essay

Hey, I am an american teenage girl who masturbates, and stumbled upon your website. It is a great comfort to me that other people out there support masturbation.

Re: Masturbation essay

I have been masturbating regularly since my early teens. I was taught by another girl, °how to do something nice°.
When a student I detected, that most girls were pampering their pussies. Those years
I did it almost every day for an hour or so.
My busy fingers and my dirty fantasies were a big help to develope my sex life.
Now I have a very satisfying, though somewhat kinky sex life.

Re: Female masturbation can be just as messy

Females, like males, can ejaculate through their urethra, though it doesn't happen nearly as often as with males, and some females can't get to that point at all : ( . However, if we do ejaculate, it tends to make a rather large mess that cannot be cleaned up with towels (at least not in a timely manner)... trust me, i've done it. Female ejaculation is not to be confused with urine (they have a very different smell...), btw... like guys, we produce a different fluid (although the purpose of it is unknown... little research has been done on female ejaculation). Aside from that, i liked your essay ^_^... it's refreshing to hear a guy other than my boyfriend who will admit to masturbation...


Re: Female masturbation can be just as messy

It's good to hear you and your bf are open about things, although thankfully there's not *that* many who are secretive.

Yeah I know about female ejaculation, it's wonderful when it happens. (*dreams*) But on a scientific note, it's not known from where female ejaculation fluid actually comes from... the gland/process is unknown.

As a hint to others... some women find this happens more frequently if they are sat upright. Would you agree with this?

Thanx...I think...

I am what you refer to as a perky got with anger issues. I'm bisexual. I'm still want to know more about those "Furries". I have a twisted sense of humor thanks to mopey I only know two mopey goths the rest are either cyber or perky goths. Mopey goths are becoming elusive...

I've had some bad things happen to me when I was little for a duration of years. I disagree with the pedophile thought crime" topic but then again with my past, that view happens. I find it hard to conceive that someone can become aroused by a child and those that do, I find disgust in them but for my own reasons. I do agree with you on not isolating the person. Witch hunts, lynch mobs, etc are not the answer for these situations. Your topic of masturbation has opened me up more...I am a person that has not ever masturbated due to sexual inhibitions brought on by my past. Your articles are very informative and gave some nice pointers on masturbation. Your po-ly articles gave me some advice for being in a longterm relationship with a male but still craving a female. Hopefully, I will be able to apply some of these concepts to my long-term relationship. If I am able, then I think my comfort level with sex will raise tremendously. You made me realize some things aren't "dirty" just natural and fun, I suppose.

Anyways thanks

Do do de do...

It was... erm.... interesting. Better prose needed!


I am a 53 year old (single) male and I LOVE TO MASTURBATE! (Something I could never have admitted to 25, 15 or even 10 years ago!).

I have (what I consider) a small abnormality which made me less of a choice (and am glad I never got 'picked', given all the woe I've heard about in bad long tem relationships), and so I, er, masturbate.

Like any young male it became a daily habit, but in the last 15 years I have found it far more satisfying if I stretch my episodes out enjoying myself no more than once a week. And than spending as long a period as possible (15, 20 minutes - I live by myself) to slowly bringing myself up to a point that I try to sustain for as long as I can. This means as little stroking as possible by gently tapping on the corona (between head and shaft)of my penis where all the nerves seem to be.

If I am lucky and do not succumb to the urge to start stroking the eventual climax will make me shake and shutter in a way I only wish I could describe. The longer the period between episodes the more explosive the climax making me only count the days.

Re: Masturbation

We are married couple since 2 y and have relation since 12 y.She is 28y and is a famous european fotomodel,he is 51y and is a physician.We never had so called normal intercourse or introduction.We enjoy since the beginning of our relation a 100 percent masturbationrelation together,never alone,and masturbate ourselfs looking eachother or touching us.We do it in the same way like you do,1 or 2 times a week to build up the energy and lust,never more,and when we play we extend the pleasures so long as possible not to come.It goes on for hours,stopping and playing again,so we reach very intense orgasms or even more of them because we trained our intimities to go longer and longer before coming.
We use music and sometimes nice pictures to stimulate our fantasies we tell us while playing.We are very serious people,never having lovers.She is bisexual, so we agree she has regular nice female friendships in total discretion.Protected by marriage she enjoys life fully as a lesbian,and we enjoy life together fully as addicted masturbaters.

Real well written

Hi, Vexen!!

I read the one you had written on masturbation and I found this really good and I want to thank you for enlightening me in certain matters.

Thank you.

Hi, Vexen!
I read your article on masturbation and I liked it very much.

Can you please tell me if there are any medical problems one can face if he masturbates excessively?

I have heard that you run out of sperms in your adult life if masturbation is very frequent.

I have also heard that the testes produce fresh sperms only once in 74 days which means one must not have a masturbation frequency of more than once in 74 days.

How high is the average frequency of masturbation and upto what limit is it safe for the human body?
Please help. I really need to know this.
Thank you.

No, men cannot and will not run out of sperm because of masturbating. Sperm is replaced hour by hour, not day by day. If a man doesn't masturbate he will have nocturnal emissions due to an excess of sperm production.

For a male, average is once every 2 days, but more than once a day is normal, and so is as little as once a month.

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
I disagree... (Anonymous) Expand
Masturbation Frequency (Anonymous) Expand

What about this link??

Hello, Mr. Vexen!
I read your article on masturbation and liked it very much.
But I happened to see these other sites which said otherwise.

Please go through them and help.

Please help.
These sites appear to be the official site of the US government.

Please. I really need your help.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Re: What about this link??

all government sites end in .gov, this is a parody of the US government

Hello, Vexen!
There is this general belief that masturbation would reduce desire for sex later in life and also that it causes impotence. Is that true?

Definately not, in both cases.

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
Thats a great essay. It was really informative. I didn't know that it was perfectly natural because some people say its unhealthy. Guess i proved them wrong. Thanks alot

your website

A very informative site making for facinating and enlightening reading.
Even as an avid masturbator I have learned a few things about it that I didn't know.
Good work and a very good site setup.

Re: your website

excellent site
also a good read for humorous approach - good xmas stocking stuffer

my opinion on the matter

i've been masturbating for a while and i've tried to convince myself that it's natural and that's ok, but it's not. i'm constantly tired. i have poor concentration and low energy, brain fog, short-term memory loss. and worst of all, i'm addicted to it. it's doesn't take a science-freak or research tests to know that any kind of addiction is not healthy and that too much of a "good thing" (or bad one for that matter) is harmful to the body. i read your essay and you compare humans to animals, but we're not animals. the difference between animals and us is our self-control, that's our line of seperation. i just felt like posting my opinion and thanks.

Re: my opinion on the matter

Are you addicted to eating and drinking too? Me too. Is it harmful because they're things you rely on physiologically?

People are mentally addicted to ego, esteem, happiness... does that mean those things are harmful?

Suppression, and especially taboos, are definately more harmful, especially where they lead to pointless guilt and dishonesty. Learn to accept the facts of humanity!


All im gonna say is there should have been more on male masterbation.
eg. using dildos in the anus.

Okay, so lets expand it then.

I've tried it a couple of times, but it did not feel any good. It hurted! I found out it was just a fantasy, because I like my asshole, and girls assholes...teehee...The outside of it is sensitive. But the inside? Not in my case. I read something about "prostate" climax years ago, and wanted to find out. But it never worked. If you are courious, just do it and find out. I got more than enough and fun and satisfaction with my dick and balls anyways, so I don't care.

Also, what if you start to enjoy stuffing things up your ass? Then you might stuff all kinds of things up there, and then even bigger things...and even bigger things....Think about it. Could you walk afterwards? What will you say to your girlfriend? "I was run over by a mooose that accidentially went up my ass?" Take care there.

;) Muhaahahahaww

Vexen, you know you had to write this

Because you are openminded and flexible.

And so am I so I will reply.

Yesyes, I wack off every day, sometimes several times a day, it depends on how much stress I need to get rid off.

It's about energy, an orgasm is energy lost. Wich is true, it do drains energy. If you read some buddah stuff, you see sex is clogging your mind and isnogood.

However, if you are like me, not living in a cave searching for eternal wisdom, masturbation is fun and that's why I do it, its a safe space, a cozy realm to live in.. Simple as that.

I started when i was 11, I got my very first orgasm in the bathtub actually. I reacted like...WOW. I was pretty alone with this experience, so I felt guilty. Right, it's a cliche, but I did feel like that.

I'm 39 years old now. So I kept it secret, I went to secret places and wacked off. One day I found some porn, a magazine with a woman spreading. I felt strange, and wacked off. There were girls around me, but I could never get me to belive they would actually enjoy my "private" fantasies, because I was ashamed, this was so ego-sentric.

Out of desperation, I went to bed with someone a few years later, only to find out...yeah, I did it all wrong, I was drunk. And so on.

But beeing kind to yourself, is a good thing. Loving yourself is a good thing. Take care of your body, your mind. Whacking off is sort of training.
Like pumping iron to get fit.

Re: Vexen, you know you had to write this

I have been masturbating since I was 11 years old. I am now 57 and married. We have sex regularly and I still masurbate almost daily.I have many methods using rubber gloves and other things. I will carry on as often as Ican.


is masturbating at least once a day bad for you? please let me know.

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Re: masturbation (Anonymous) Expand

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