March 17th, 2002

Vexen Crabtree 2015

Saturday was excellent. LondonFurs meet.

Ia'Kat and I founded the London Furs mailing list about 3 years ago. We started having 3 weekly meets in London, and these continue to this day. Now there are 50 furs who turn up per meet, and endless new faces every time. It's now impossible to get to know everyone. It's excellent.

So yesterday I went to the FurMeet, and planned to go to the nightclub called Slimelight afterwards. I'll write up my Slimelight experience later.

I got up at 11am or something, got ready, ate food. Wearing PVC trousers, knee high New Rock boots with red flames, a tight t shirt I bought in Seattle with empiress. Got to the meet at 13:30 approx.

There were tons of people there who I didn't know. Mostly I don't know the younger furs. London Furs, at some point, became flooded with a large amount of 16,17,18 year olds. Some are younger, and I've had difficulty getting to know them (and not really being motivated to try). But something was special about this meet... out of the blue, a whole load of the older furs turned up. We were all surprised at how many old faces turned up!

OK... so, I was being very sociable and talking to all these old faces! Then, we all stayed downstairs at the venue. We were:

mattlazycat, growf (bruce), iakat, vexen, ytaya, Gothdog, Hawx, Kiroo, Fish the cat, scruff, Miko, Cayenne and footpad. A collection of truly awesome people. We spent a few hours socialising together, we were all happy to be in each other's company. Some of these people (despite me not seeing them daily or even weekly in most cases) have become my best friends. I respect them. So... thanks guys for being yourselves and thanks for simply knowing me!

I had some conversation with Ia'Kat (read my friends page on Ia'Kat) about things; we haven't talked too much since we broke up. Talked with Cayenne too. I've been antisocial recently, I got some catching up done!

OK... I was being open with people! More than normal... I feel I trust some of these people know (I've known them a few years -- I do not trust people easily) talking about my life, asking people for advice. Lots of geeks and computer gurus amogst the older furs, some very intelligent and experienced people, was asking them about moving to Seattle and working for Microsoft! I didn't get any positive feedback about that one. But I got a whole ton of positive feedback about another possible plan; which is to move to Vancouver.

OK... that's the update for the Fur Meet done! I stayed in the downstairs of the LF venue until 9:30pm at which point I went to Slimelight with Cayenne.
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Vexen Crabtree 2015

Slimelight (

Slimelight is the most amazing night club ever in the whole world.

Anyway... after the London Furs meet (read the write up) I proceeded to go to Slimelight with Cayenne. He phoned pennypenny who came along as well. They're both great.

Slimelight was superb. I had lots of energy. Up at 10am or so... I survived until 8am on only 2 coffees (one at 3am and one at 4:30am), 2 chocolate bars (a snickers and a mars bar), lots of water and during gloomy hour (2 for the price of one) I drank 4 alcopops (4 bicardi breezers).

Upstairs until 12pm there was a Black Metal festival thing going on... I missed most of it (it was from 6pm until 12 or something like that) because I didn't know it was on. I walked upstairs and found myself in a room full of people holding up the sign of the devil (horns) to a incoherent, deep growly voiced and unintelligable vocalist with 3 guitarists playing so fast (with the drums) that the wall of sound became a flood of inspiration, ego, power and feel good factor. I felt a bit nervous because I bet any money there were a handful of Satanists there who knew of me, but didn't know I was a rivet head (industrial goth kid) and not a Black Metaller!

The proper sets at Slimelight (until 7:30am) were absolutely superb. Back to back tracks of excellent tracks. I danced downstairs for a while, initially, to industrial, ebm and 80s. But then the will to dance really took over so I went upstairs and danced from 3am to 6am to one the best sets I've experienced at Slimelight. Lots of tracks I knew. I danced like a lunatic, bouncing up and down in a confident and energetic way.

I presently feel very excercised, fit, healthy, happy.

There were a bunch of people in Slimelight that I knew. I am famous for not being sociable. mrmime was there. The people in Slimelight are the sexiest and most eye candy people ever... it's amazing just to look at them all. I recognize a hundred people or so, regulars. However... there are too many drugs (speed, poppers... all sorts) to actually justify getting to know them. I've never done drugs, and I'm fit, healthy and natural enough to be able to stay up for 2/3 days with only caffeine, chocolate and excersize as stimulants.

On the raised platform on the top floor I danced for about 2 hours and went into a superb period of automatic meditation. I have no idea what I was thinking about whilst doing that, but I come away from it feeling very good and clear and brain-organized.

mr.mime commented on that... he reflected back to our Uni days, he said when I danced I looked like I was doing programming in my head because I looked so lost in thought.

I felt good after all that insane top-speed dancing. But I realized as I rested that I'd cut my legs again doing it... I've got a 3x1 inch gash in my right leg on the back, under my knee. This is from the friction at the top of boots as I bounce around. So I danced very slow and smoochy on the downstairs goth/80s/ebm floor to some slow goth tracks.

Whilst wondering around and even whilst dancing, however, I had a single overriding thought. It was saddening... I miss my girlfriend. She's not around at the moment. I wanted to dance with her, kiss with her whilst resting, wanted to make sure she had water and wanted to buy her chocolate. I wanted to watch her dance and to dance for her. I wanted to introduce her to the people who asked about her who haven't met her yet. Just an overall and strong feeling of missing her.

Slimelight has the most attractive people, the most sensual dancers, the most amazing crowd. But... my girlfriend is more intelligent, dances better, is sexier, more beautiful inside and out, more caring. She doesn't do drugs either, she's insanely amazing. She's friendly, happy, strong... but... not here!

When dancing slow downstairs after my long meditation dance upstairs, there was an 80s track I hadn't heard before that they played which I danced to. Just one of the sentences in the chorus was something like "I can't wait to hold you again"... it was a sad chorus. I sung along to it whilst dancing and each time I sung it I wanted to cry. She'll read this and mail me a big *hug* :-)

I discovered that a vague acquiantance called Simon (who I've known through Ia'Kat for ages) was actually born a girl, and changed sex. Which was surprising, as I would have never ever have guessed.

Oh... during the night, I saw 2 of the girl regulars who I find attractive and are great dancers kissing and holding hands. Which made me feel a bit "awwww" and warm inside :-)

I sat around for the last 30 mins (got up to dance to a track or two upstairs, but my legs hurt too much to do justice to the music). No-one I knew was going to the cafe in Angel (and I can't remember how to get there) so I went straight to Kings Cross and returned to St Albans.

I very much enjoyed the cold breeze and walked home slowly. I enjoyed the walk. Normally I walk very fast. This time I kept stopping... once I stopped at the bottom of a tree to admire an amazingly beautiful robotic-sounding bird song coming from somewhere in the tree, although I couldn't see the bird. At other points I stopped once just to look over St Albans (I walk up a big hill) and then once to read the plague near a very large Roman wall from the 2nd century.

I looked for an open Cafe (it was 9am on Sunday morning) but didn't find one. I wanted sausage, toast, beans, egg, bacon for breakfast. But I got home and settled for a coffee and a big piece of fish instead. When I got back my girlfriend was on ICQ (2am her time) so I got to say good night to her. That made me happy.

My plan for today is... stay up until 10pm and get 2 extra hours sleep before work tomorrow to make up for not sleeping Saturday night. This is my normal routine.

OK. Have nice lives.
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