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Vexen Crabtree 2015


Vexen Crabtree's Live Journal

Sociology, Theology, Anti-Religion and Exploration: Forcing Humanity Forwards

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Vexen Crabtree, LS Meet

A loyal cat!

Recently I've been admiring how loyal our cat, Missy, is. She does the normal pet thing of following us around the house all the time; she sits in the bathroom with us as we get ready in the morning, goes to sleep in whichever room we're in, follows us around casually from room to room as we do housework, and meows at us from inside the house as we return from work. And none of that is counting her extra-affections at feeding times or when she wants to go out.

Anyway... just one example from earlier today, she was out, but I wanted to go out to drive to a nearby town, so I wanted her in. I went to the back door, shouted "Miseeeeeey" once, not very loud, and she immediately came running from one of her resting places in a nearby hedge... jumped into our garden, and trotted quickly straight into the house.

Admittedly, we have taught her pavlov-style, so, I did of course give her some cat biscuits. But she really did deserve them, because she's loyal and almost obedient!

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This is why I suspect that Tom is dead; he too has always been very loyal and responsive, and to be absent as long as this is completely out of character for him. Kyneston does come when called - even when he's busy pigeon-hunting!

Don't believe it for a minute. She is just manipulating you into thinking those things. You are a mere pawn in a larger, yet hidden cat plan. Can't you see that? It's always that way. No, my dear Vexen it is you who have been trained to be Cat obedient and she has brilliantly done it in such clever Pavlovian style you do not perceive it.

I am convinced that cats have a conspiracy plan to take over the world and that they are well toward their goal.

You know how once your plans come to together you grant yourself time to rest and laze in your own glory?

You must be right about cats, because I think cats en masse havve been doing the above for about three thousand years.

They've so won.

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